Sometimes, I wear it like a shroud At other times like a duvet: white, soft, mine Or like a blanket: old, beloved Like a quilt: warm, known, safe * * I wrap it around me like a shawl Or drape it like a stole I string it around my neck like pearls Or a slim river of silver * * Or wear it like an armor Like a dab of Vaseline before stepping out Coax it like oil, the sheen in my hair I make it mine, the existential loneliness of being. * * But the world gets through The sudden stab of a harsh glance A cold look from an acquaintance Or heartbreaking aloofness from yesterday’s intimate * * And the light gets through Of the day which I share with everyone around The sound of traffic, birds in the sky Conversation and connection with a friend * * The love gets through From my family's unconditional heart In the welcome of a beloved pet The infinite embrace of my home * * Comfort swirls around In the quiet joy of coming home to a freshly made bed A bowl full of fruit cut just so Books strewn around waiting to be read The music on Rain outside Words on paper...
So I got off the phone with a friend who was talking about taking his girl- friend out this Sunday evening. Me, I was staying at home trying to spend quality time with my to-do list. This post was written on Post-Its as I got ready to go to the supermarket to get some fruit (healthy) and some cup-o’-noodles (unhealthy but so necessary sometimes if you are still up past midnight and get hungry) and random jots on my BB between a walk (healthy) and phone calls with girl-friends (healthy for the heart).
I’m dedicating this post to my single friends as well as ones who are dyads because being human, man, it’s tough…
1.You will have to spend some weekend evenings alone. Make your peace with it.
2.There’s no glory in being single, but there shouldn’t be shame or despair, either.
3.As you chart your single course through choppy, clam, stormy seas you’ll encounter the wrong sort for you and get bruised. You’ll learn from it and then teach, I hope.
4.Yes, being part of a loving, fulfilling, exciting, safe, romantic, sensual, affectionate, sexual and intellectual dyad is better. But such perfect scenarios are, ahem, rare.
I personally look for equality and respect. And, of course, chemistry.
5.Have role models for singledom that personify healthy living and a balanced life. Mine is my youngest sibling.
6.If you are not an individual in your own right, no one else can fix that. Find out what you stand for, find out who you want to be and then go for it. Don’t know? Experiment. Explore. But stay in touch with the Mother Ship (your Mom or your common sense).
7.Go with flow a bit more if you are a control freak. Get a bit organized if you have been very free floating and been ditzing around.
8.Accept invitations; issue some of your own.
9.Enjoy the people you meet. Listen to them, ask them questions. Do this without an agenda. It’s a sad, lonely planet, be nice to others.
10.If they’re your soul mate, they’ll want you back. Quit worrying. Continue reading
Sometimes, when I’m alone
And sad and lonely
I take out all the gifts you left me with.
Then, once more, I count
The cracks you left on my heart
In all the places you shattered it. Continue reading
You cut a dash
And my heart
Just a paper cut
But it hurt Continue reading
I’m a Wren & Martin kid and something I read there more than two decades ago nagged me all day. A quote. I finally found it online:
Some murmur when their sky is clear,
And wholly bright in view,
If one small speck of dark appear
In their great heav’n of blue;
And some with thankful love are filled
If but one streak of light,
One ray of God’s good mercy, gild
The darkness of their night.
-Richard Chenevix Trench
I loved this when I was a kid. Oh, dear, yes. I was that kind of kid.
It’s tempting to tell you more about my affair with Wren & Martin but it’s beside the point for this post.
I’ve been thinking for a while now that some of us (me for sure, I don’t about you but) go around with this belief that we should be happy. That everything must turn out to be fine and perfect. That our skies should be clear and bright to view, always and for all matters. And when they are not, and skies being skies, they are not always going to be bright and blue, we feel blighted. We feel that it is not normal, that it’s wrong. Continue reading
Conquer me a world
Win me a victory
Write me a poem
Sing me a song
Fix me a problem
Or a meal
Or a snack
Or even a cup of tea Continue reading